Rico's Female Nightmare
by GreenShai
Summary: Rico is getting transferred to a new zoo, where a lady penguin awaits him... The last chapter is from KowalskiLover12. I've decided to leave the story uncompleted.
1. Chapter 1

„Skipper's Log: The Zoo is doing great. The Lemurs are keeping quiet, still practicing their boogie-woogie. Marlene is playing her spanish guitar, again. What she doesn't know is that we penguins are listening to every word and chord she does. My men and I are hard at work..."  
>Stopping a sec, Skipper looks around. Private is in his bunk, sucking his thumb, eyes half shut, Lunacorn at his side. Rico is stroking his Barbie's hair, and Kowalski is drawing on a piece of paper.<br>"Well, at least Kowalski is hard at work." He hits the red button to stop the tape.  
>Skipper: Will you just look at these ninnies? Kowalski, let me see your manly work. Pronto, please.<br>Private and Rico line up in shame. Kowalski scratches his head.  
>Kowalski: Well, Skipper, I'm afraid, it's very complicated. You wouldn't understand it.<br>Skipper: C'mon, Kowalski, show the boys what a penguin is made of.  
>Kowalski slowly turns the paper around. Instead of the assumed manly work, he was drawing a picture of Doris the Dolphin and himself, holding hands, while hearts and flowers are floating around in the air. Skipper slaps Kowalski.<br>Skipper: Soldiers, I do not and do not want to believe this! How can you do this to me? My men have turned into girls... my whole training: for nothing?  
>Ka-BoooMMM!<br>Skipper: Good Job, Rico, you surprised me!  
>Rico: Dat wasnag me!<br>Skipper: On board, men!

On the deck, the penguins arrive just in time to watch Mort stumble from the Lemur's platform, his tail smoking. Behind him, Julian is smiling happily, holding some pieces of dynamite.  
>Skipper: Ringtail, where in the world did you get that?<br>Julian: Silly Penguin, this is none of your concern. But, just that you know, I have very evil plans with these sticks of Ka-boom!  
>Kowalski: Uh huh, like what?<br>Julian: Uh... well, actually, I havn't decided that yet...  
>Private: Alice's coming!<br>Skipper: Quick, quick! Everyone back to our habitat! Remember, cute and cuddly!  
>They dash back, and wait for Alice to arrive. Suddenly, Skipper jumps because Julien is tapping him.<br>Kowalski: What are you doing here?  
>Julien: The leader penguin said everyone... so do you like my cute and cuddly poses? How about this one?<br>Alice is rounding the corner.  
>Skipper: Rico!<br>Rico grabs Julien and pushes him under the water, then smiles at Alice who is eyeing them suspiciously. Then she turns back to the person who came with her.  
>Alice: These are all we have, Mr. Snader.<br>Snader: Ok, could you maybe tell me some things about them.  
>Alice: (very sweetly) Uh, they are very very well-behaved (coughs) penguins. How about this one? (points to Rico, who is smiling guilty at her, while trying to keep Julien under water.)<br>Snader: What's with the scar?  
>Alice: Oh, uh, well, you know, some girls like macho penguins.<br>Snader: Ok, I'll take him.  
>Alice: Great! Now would that be all?<br>Snader: Yes, thank you very much for your time and cooperation. We're very obliged.  
>Alice: It was a (forces it) pleasure.<br>Snader: We'll take him tomorrow morning, first thing.  
>They leave, still talking. When Snader is out of the Zoo, Alice grimaces at him, sticking out her tongue at him, and so on.<br>Skipper: What was that all about? Kowalski, anylse?  
>Kowalski: According to the information I have... I don't know.<br>Private: Skipper, what if they take Rico away?  
>Skipper: They won't... not while I'm a penguin.<br>Kowalski: That could be fixed...  
>Julien: Hello, nice penguins, can someone help me? Your king is drowning.<br>Private goes over to him.  
>The view screens to the sun above (day), and switches to the moon (night), and then back to the sun (day), but it's raining.<br>The penguins wake up, but all fall out of their bunk.  
>Private: This is a bad sign, Rico.<br>Kowalski: Oh, Private, please. How many times must I tell you that luck and so on...  
>Rico: Wawawat batgujachy! Batgujachy!<br>Skipper: Talk to me, Soldier.  
>Private: I think he's trying to say, what all the noise?<br>Skipper: On board! 


	2. Chapter 2

The penguins go on deck. Around them are cameras, Chuck Charles, Alice and Mr. Snader, and audience.  
>Snader: ... very honoured to take this male penguin into our care, accompianed with the best wishes and highest hopes, to breed him with our penguin species, which of course is a great honor!<br>The Audience cheer, as Alice puts the board across the habitat to reach the penguins. She catches Rico, while the other penguins continue to smile and wave.  
>Chuck Charles: And now, 3... 2... 1..., and the transfer has begun.<br>Rico is put into a crate, and the crate is moved into a van. Mr. Snader goes to sit in the front seat, and everyone waves.  
>Private: Skipper, where are they taking Rico?<br>The penguins go back to their headquarters.  
>Skipper: Kowalski?<br>Kowalski: Uh, well, (chuckles), you know, Rico is one lucky penguin.  
>Skipper: Kowalski...?<br>Kowalski: (puts flippers over Private's eyes) They are taking Rico to a girl penguin to mate...  
>Skipper: Ricoooooooooooo! We need to get him out and back here again!<br>Kowalski: But, Skipper, haven't you seen all the cameras, the crowd? It's too obvious.  
>Skipper: Curse you, Blowhole!<br>Kowalski: Uh...  
>Skipper: What?<br>Private: (takes flippers off ears) So, is Rico just taking a walk, or?  
>Skipper: Yes, Private, Rico's taking a walk. To hell!<br>Kowaslki: A hell of love.  
>Private: Would that even be possible?<br>Skipper: Men, we have a mission: Get Rico out of the Hell of Love.  
>Private: Yes, sir.<p>

Scene: Mr. Snader releasing Rico into his new home.  
>Snader: There you go, buddy. Have all the fun you want.<br>Rico: Wat? Wer um I?  
>Mr. Snader leaves. Rico looks at his surroundings. He's in a bigger habitat than his own, everywhere is ice, just on one side, there is a big pool of water. There's a big piece of ice in the middle and on it, a penguin lying on her side. She lifts her head, tosses it, and smiles a coy smile.<br>Rico screams a high-pitched scream.  
>The girl penguin floats her piece of ice to Rico, and goes on land. She snickers, and puts a hand on his cheek. Leaning in, she puckers her lips.<br>Rico scrambles away, clawing at the fences to get away. 


	3. Chapter 3

Scene: (night) Cars on the highway. On top of a truck, are Skipper, Kowalski, and Private, lying on their back, looking at the stars, and eating fish.  
>Kowalski: And that's the Big Dipper, you see, connecting these dots, and moving to the left...<br>Private: I don't see anything, Kowalski.  
>Skipper: Neither do I. Isn't that just one of your usual big-mouth bragging?<br>Kowalski: Ok, I am just wasting my phenomal knowledge on you, anyway.  
>Skipper: It is your bragging.<br>Private: If Rico were here, we could have been doing fireworks. (sighs) I miss Rico.  
>Skipper: So do I, young Private. Now, how about we go to sleep? Tomorrow will be a new day.<br>The penguins close their eyes...  
>EYO... Oh, oh, oh... EYO!<br>Julien: Everybody dance now!  
>Maurice: Hey, I see the big dipper.<br>Julien: Nonsense, Maurice, these are just stars.  
>Skipper: Ringtail! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?<br>Julien: Just not missing out on a camping trip.  
>Kowalski: This is NOT a camping trip!<br>Julien: Funny, that's what you said last time.  
>Skipper's eye goes round and round...<br>Julien: I think you got something in your eye. Want some popcorn.  
>Skipper: This is going to be a long, long night.<p>

Scene: Back at Mr. Snader's Zoo: the Penguin Habitat.  
>Rico: Tis is gonna e a ong ong nightie.<br>The girl penguin is sleeping on his chest, arms around his neck. Rico looks at her, then decides to take drastic measures. He starts by trying to tear her off him, but she won't budge. Next, he hits her on the wall, but no effect. He spits out dynamite.  
>Rico: Sorry.<br>He puts the dynamite between him and her. It explodes, leaving Rico coughing, and the girl penguin... you've guessed it... is still on his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

_This is the end of this story... the last chapter, even if it is incomplete. I've decided to keep it that way as a goodbye to KowalskiLover12 on my part._

_ ~ AlwaysRemainMe_

**KowalskiLover12's chapter:**

K: okay so here is my part of the story.

Chapter 4

Julian: hey silly penguins be the waking ups already

Skipper: ring-tail get off me!

Julian climbs off skipper, and goes over to his royal subjects. Skipper rubs his eyes in attempt to wake up. He looks around the place they are in. private and Kowalski were still asleep on the truck. Maurice, mort, and Julian were in the corner of the truck. They were playing some sort of card game.

Skipper: ring-tail where did you get those cards

Julian: the driver is to be knowing his games.

Skipper looks down to the driver. He is knocked out cold with his face on the steering wheel.

Skipper: ring-tail you knocked out the driver!

Julian: well he would not be givings me his gamey thing by himself

Kowalski and private woke up at that very moment

Kowalski: what's with all the yelling?

Private: did we get there already?

Skipper: no, ring-tail knocked out the driver

Julian smiles sheepishly. Maurice face-palms himself.

Skipper: looks like we're walking men

They get down from the truck and start trudging.

Julian: where are you silly penguins going?

Scene: Mr. Snader's zoo, the penguin habitat

Rico finally woke up in the morning. The girl penguin is looking into his eyes.

Rico: hai

Girl penguin: hello macho man

Rico: who you?

Girl penguin: my names Fiona, what's yours?

Rico: ri-ko

Fiona: what a pretty name

Fiona drags her flipper along rico's scar. Rico tries getting up, but she's too heavy.

K: I thought I would make her a name. So her name is Fiona.


End file.
